12. Having had a spiritual experience as the result of this course of action, we tried to carry this message to others, especially alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

“If someone comes to you for assistance, and all you say to him is, “God will help you,” you become a disloyal servant of God. It is for you to understand that God has sent you to aid the needy and not to refer him back to God.” The Lelover Rebbe

Step 12 asks us to pay it forward. To carry the message. To give back what we have been given. A friend of mine in recovery was fond of saying, “I owe, I owe…,” singing it like one of the seven dwarfs. It plays in my head every time I get back to this step. I owe it to myself, I owe it to my friends, my partner and my family, and I owe it to the addict who struggles in the plastic chair next to mine. In this season of Thanksgiving, I give thanks.

11. Sought to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

In synagogues all over the world, we have gone back to the beginning of the Torah to tell the tale all over again. To learn, ask questions and discover new meaning. I love stories, and what a story we have to tell. The whole Book of Genesis is a story book. In the beginning, creation and the Garden of Eden. There are great highs… and great lows, Cain and Able, Noah and the flood, and the promise of the rainbow

Step 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

By now the 12 steps have started to make a real difference. The ‘promises’ are starting to come true. “We will intuitively know how to handle things that used to baffle us.” Maybe your relationships are getting better, maybe your job is more stable, maybe your heart has stopped racing.  But the work is never done.  As Rabbi Olitzky wrote,“Recovery is like breathing. If you want to stay alive, you have to do it.” This step will help keep you on track. Put aside time every day to review your actions and review your thinking. We hurt those closest to us, because they are the closest to us. But it isn’t inevitable. Stop and breathe, and make a habit of making amends.

Step 9: “Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”

“The deed is more important than the thought; who we are is equal to what we do. Wonderful thoughts do not repair the world; small deeds begin to do so.” Rabbi Kerry Olitzky

At the start of getting sober, a lot of us are tempted to go on an ‘apology tour’ to reach out to anyone and everyone with an open ear. It felt so good to say, “I’m sorry.” If a little is good, then a lot would be great. Who cares what the apology is for; what’s important is that they hear, "I’m sorry.” Don’t you just love how an addict thinks?

“Wherever you go, God goes with you.”  Deuteronomy Rabbah 2:10

Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

Now, we begin yet another process, another step. Make a list, it sounds so simple. Just like any attempt to repair the damage, you have to figure out exactly what is wrong. The Big Book says, “The alcoholic is like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others. Hearts are broken. Sweet relationships are dead. Affections have been uprooted… a man is unthinking when he says that ‘sobriety’ is enough”.

“Wherever you go, God goes with you.”  Deuteronomy Rabbah 2:10

Step 7: Humbly asked G-d to remove our shortcomings.

Does God really hear our prayers? Doesn’t it seem that most times, prayers just go out of our mouths and into the air?  Like a great armada of boats, sailing up to heaven and into God’s presence. Is this what we really mean when we pray? The word makes it sound like asking for something. May I have an ‘A’ on a test, or a puppy? Or to get more serious, can I get back to health, may I pray for peace and serenity?  

Step 6:  Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

I don’t know about you, but the hardest thing for me to pray, is a prayer for willingness. This is the principle behind Step Six. Be willing and be ready to have God remove the defects of character. The same defects that have served so well in the past-- the drugs, alcohol, food, gambling – were not the problem; they were the solution.  

Step 12 asks us to pay it forward. To carry the message. To give back what we have been given. A friend of mine in recovery was fond of saying, “I owe, I owe…,” singing it like one of the seven dwarfs. It plays in my head every time I get back to this step. I owe it to myself, I owe it to my friends, my partner and my family, and I owe it to the addict who struggles in the plastic chair next to mine. In this season of Thanksgiving, I give thanks.

“Wherever you go, God goes with you.”  Deuteronomy Rabbah 2:10

Admitted to G-d, to ourselves, And to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Looking at this step with a Jewish eye, it is easy to see the act of Teshuvah – the process we approach each year at Yom Kippur to repent for our sins. The process of Teshuvah has several components. One part is personal, another is spiritual and the other is with another human being.

“Wherever you go, God goes with you.”  Deuteronomy Rabbah 2:10

Step 4: Made a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves.

And now the real work begins. It takes honesty, hope and faith to get here, and it will take courage to continue on. Here we are asked to look at ourselves in a mirror and to truly see. To not use the tools of avoidance and denial, but to give ourselves a critical eye and an honest assessment.